Brother Wu's Testimony of His In-Flight Emergency, Shared in the Fellowship at the Spring 2019 Commencement of the Middle-Aged Training

Prayer: O Lord! We thank You that You care for us so much, caring for us in many ways through the miracles of Your love, so that on the path of following You our hearts may rest in faith. We praise Your way; through such training You perfect us further and dispense Your life into us, so that our life may grow up and reach the stage of maturity. Praise the Lord! We look to Your blessing. Hallelujah!

Testimony: Last December 16th, a miracle of love also took place upon me. I was flying from Chicago to Los Angeles to attend the winter training, and on the plane I suffered a heart attack — it seemed it was all over. Yet I truly saw that there was God's mercy and God's care. It was very dangerous on the plane; the plane made an emergency landing, and the timing was exactly right. The one seated next to me on the plane happened to be a physician — otherwise no one would have noticed. The flight attendant used an AED (an automated external defibrillator — something a plane does not necessarily carry); the moment I was shocked I came to, but I had no awareness, and after coming to I collapsed again. The plane landed, the ambulance was right beside it, and on the ambulance they resuscitated me and shocked me again. Then I was taken to UCLA, probably the top cardiothoracic department in the United States, with the best doctors. We are truly unworthy — we could never have imagined it, and even if we had tried to arrange such a thing we could not have gotten in. As it turned out, I was carried straight from the plane all the way to the emergency room.

In the emergency room I was shocked four more times, six shocks in all; my whole body was black, my entire back was black — it was frightening! After the shocks they put in two stents for me, yet I still collapsed, so there was nothing to be done and they had to put me on ECMO (extracorporeal membrane oxygenation), which took seven hours. In a situation like this, ordinarily, even if a person is brought back to life, the brain is damaged. So when I was moved from the emergency room to the intensive care unit, the doctor said I would not wake until two days later — and that was the best-case scenario; very possibly I would not wake for two weeks, and it was also possible that I would never wake and would become a vegetable. Thank the Lord, whether to live or to die is in the Lord's hand; at least I was alive, and for this too I had to thank the Lord. As it turned out, in the intensive care unit I woke up after only two hours. The doctors and nurses all came running to see such a miracle. From the first shock onward, all along it was the Lord's keeping.

Ordinarily I was already very tired, because there were so many things to do; it would not have been bad simply to have it all be over. If I could have entered into rest just like that, it would have been fine — to be finished and done. But it was not so. The Lord did not yet want me to go. So when I woke up, of course I thanked the Lord. But then I also thought, how is it that I am alive again? This is so wearying, because there are still so many things to do and the burden is so heavy! In the hospital room I had sixteen or seventeen tubes inserted in me, and beside the bed there were probably fifteen or sixteen machines — a heart-lung machine, dialysis, a ventilator, and so on. Lying on the sickbed, I wondered why I was alive, and if I was alive, what the purpose of it was. Of course, having received grace for so long, subconsciously I gave thanks to the Lord. That was a fairly long time; for the first ten days, when my eyes were open I was in the hospital, but the moment I closed my eyes my soul wandered off into a strange realm. Have you all heard of the soul wandering off into a strange realm? It is not the same as dreaming; scene after scene, each scene cut off and passing right in front of you — you cannot grasp it, nor do you know where it is going. It was very frightening. Now we say we have much faith, but actually it was very frightening — truly scene after scene, which I still cannot forget even now, scene after scene, some of them things we had experienced, some of them things we had never experienced — this kind of very strange spectacle. So there was only the calling on the name of the Lord; only by calling on the name of the Lord could a person be settled. For through calling on the name of the Lord, I truly saw — I saw the scene of the Lord Jesus crucified on the cross. When I saw that scene, there was something to lay hold of, and I laid hold of it, laid hold of the Lord; with the Lord's presence, this person of mine was settled — otherwise I would not have known where I would go.

In the process, although they used ECMO, my breathing was still a problem, so they intubated me. I was intubated for seven days; usually it is not for so long, and the next step after intubation is a tracheotomy. The doctor said it would not do, that I needed a tracheotomy; the brothers said I could not have a tracheotomy — Brother Wu still has to speak, and with a tracheotomy one cannot speak. Since a tracheotomy meant I could not speak, but a tracheotomy was the only way out and it absolutely had to be done, later there was no choice but to sign for the tracheotomy. So I was taken to the operating room for the tracheotomy, and they really did cut in — truly, they cut in. But the moment they cut in, the instruments beside me started going off; my blood pressure dropped sharply, and my pulse was beating violently, so the incision could not be made. Though the skin had been cut open, they could not proceed. The doctor said, "What do we do? Sew him up, and we'll see tomorrow." When the next day came and the doctor was about to take a look, my airway had cleared on its own, and so they extubated me. Thus there was no tracheotomy, and they pulled out my tube. Once the tube was pulled out, it was like being reborn, because the feeling of being intubated was that one would rather just die. Once it was pulled out, all was well, because it was too unbearable — too unbearable, truly more than one could get through! I had seen the scene of the Lord Jesus crucified on the cross, and thinking it over, I myself fell far short — fell far short.

When we believe in the Lord and walk the Lord's way, all that the Lord walked we too must follow; thus this pathway of the cross is our pathway! With this one turn of thought, that suffering passed away. Thinking it over for myself — the Lord Jesus, it is all Your mercy; that I live is because You willed me to live, and to die would have been fine. There, not yet having passed through the situation of the Lord Jesus' being crucified to death, the Lord let me have a little of this experience, and I thought of the way the Lord walked, which we all must walk. So I, having received God's mercy, walked it a step ahead, experiencing once over what the brother spoke of. And I also thought of how we still have so many companions who in the future will all be like me, who will all have to walk this pathway. So in this process I truly saw that man must gain God. Originally I thought that being brought back to life was probably the Lord's wanting me to have more service; I myself also had this aspiration, thinking, what more can I do? But seeing this spectacle, I truly saw that man is utterly small, truly nothing to speak of. You think you are very able, but actually you can do nothing; even if you want to act, if the Lord does not give you the time, you have no way to act. If a man does not have the Lord, does not have the Lord's presence, then to be alive has no meaning. We have received grace for several decades and have often stood on the platform, often speaking to people about the Lord Jesus, about God's salvation, speaking as if it were all real; but only when I was experiencing it did I discover that I fell far short. Why did these things befall me? I thought, "O Lord Jesus! Perhaps I am a sinner, and so I need the Lord's discipline." But that was truly hard to say, and not quite fair — I had already suffered enough; I have had a kidney transplant, had my gallbladder removed, and a stroke. I never thought there would also be a problem with my heart — ninety percent blocked without my knowing it. After thinking it over and over — O Lord Jesus, perhaps it is that I am full of sin and evil! All our thoughts must be repented of; I asked the Lord to forgive me and to deal with my sin. In this process, I came to realize that what God is after upon us is not merely to solve the problem of our sin; God is still the God of love, and He wants to dispense His life into us so that we may gain more of God's life, that we may by this life express Him and represent Him. We seldom think this way; what we think of is all that we are full of sin and evil. But thinking it over, I had no great sin either — ordinarily, as we live the church life, it is "no great sins committed, but small sins unceasing." So I was thinking, where in the world had we offended the Lord? Thinking it over and over, it is truly that we are still not absolute enough toward the Lord.

Now there is also much service, but it does not necessarily have reality. The Lord kept us behind because our credits are still not enough, we still have not been perfected enough; so the Lord kept me behind still to perfect me, that our life might be more mature. This is God's economy. God's economy is to have us gain His life. After God made Adam, Adam was without sin; God placed Adam before the tree of life, that is, to have him enjoy God, enjoy God's life, eat the fruit of the tree of life. Whenever we fall into the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, this person becomes fallen, and being fallen causes us to keep tumbling about in this sinful environment. God's purpose is to have us gain more of His life, eat more of the fruit of the tree of life, so that we may become His expression. We were created according to God's image and after God's likeness, with the purpose that this person of ours may represent Him and express Him — and not merely we as individuals, but that we may become a corporate man to be God's expression. Then of course we need to know how to gain this life of God, and how God's life is dispensed into us.